Starting over at 49 is not a title to capture ones eye's but a present day reality that I am experiencing. For most individuals starting over is a career change or maybe new job or with some ending a long relationship any of which can be an ominous task. For others a new and exciting chapter in ones life. For me at the beginning it was devastating to wake up and realize all that you have pain stakingly birthed had been stolen. On a cool spring April day when nature began to awake from winter I walked into my office for the last time. I began to collect my memories and carefully place them into a cardboard box. I then reach into my briefcase, and retrieved the master keys to my empire only to hand them over to a bank representative. I proceeded to walk through my revolving door for the last time. To see all the dreams, the hard work, the tears, the relationships and most of all the families that depended on me for their income just fade away. Its was like a dream but the only difference was that I couldn't a wake from it. It only seemed like yesterday that the contractor said congratulation and handed me the keys to our dreams. A seven thousand square foot full service restaurant, the completion of my wife and myself hard work and absolute resolve. There is an explicable feeling of accomplishment when a dream and vision come to fruition. When you have experienced and overcome the mental, emotional and physical battle of the realization of a dream. One of the most difficult things for both of us during the birth of our vision was the skepticism we would encounter from our immediate family. But then to have all obstacles disappear and fade away when we begin to excel in our endeavor. It seemed to happen over night we became number one in our market place with the waiting lines continuing to grow. A defining moment in my success was realized when I was able to purchase the car of my dreams. It wasn't just an impulse but the car that I had seen thirty three years earlier as a teenager. It wasn't the prestige of driving that car but it was the accomplishment of attaining a goal I had for 33 years. When as a young man I stood outside a Porsche dealership my brother worked for as a porter and saw it pull up for the first time and new that someday it would be mine.

During this period of success I discovered if I was able to solve a problem for someone, that finances would be a by-product of it. My passion became serving others and making sure they had a great experience at my restaurant. As our success began to grow I often remembered as a kid, we were the family from the other side of the tracks. A vivid memory that would often come to my me was how embarrassed I was when I stood in the lunch line in high school and when its was time to pay the cashier instead of cash I would give her my subsidies lunch ticket we received thru the state. All those memories seemed to disappear with our on going success. I would often recall my father saying to us as kids "things will change when our ship comes in". Well my ship came in and we began to enjoy the fruit of our labor.

On a cold December morning the image of my wife running to me with tears flowing down her face will be imprinted in my memory for the rest of my life. The words that came from her lips were like someone stabbing me with a dagger in my heart. I still can see her in my memory like it was yesterday those words coming off her lips like a slow motion replay, "a lawyer called and said he was going to sue us for everything we own" and also stated quote "I am going to ruin you." I still remember all the pictures that flashed before me in my mind. It was like a Greek tragedy manifesting in our lives and all I could think was the thing I greatly feared came upon me, we lost everything.

The only thing they could never take away from us was our dreams and our faith. Were there times of doubt, confusion and self pity, most definitely? But from a state of hopelessness our faith and dreams began to shine . The shadow of loss began to be consumed with the light of our dreams. There was nothing in the physical or spiritual world that was going to steal the vision for my family. We knew the season of lose was that, just a season. People ask me how we have such joy and peace, my answer, our faith and the commitment that we will never stop dreaming. I look back now and have realized the life lessons that have been learned are more valuable than any amount of money I could earn. I know the mistakes of my past have been paid in full and now have begun a new and prosperous journey. My intentions of sharing my personal diary are to be an inspiration to people who are living in a difficult season in their life. Weather it be struggles or victories I want you to be a part of it and experience my journey of starting over at 49. I believe one thing about myself and I you need to agree with me the same about you, "That we are a people who do not know how to fail".

Please feel free to contact me and share your experiences in your struggles and victories. Remember we are all in a season in life's journey so make a declaration today and repeat it often.Special thanks to my partner Ray Tamayo. Remember I am going to love what I am doing until I am doing what I love. May God bless you!

Sincerely,

Johnmark Ridings
jmridings@paidinfull.org

Autor: Johnmark Ridings

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